With apologies to a friend of a friend

(it was originally about Iowa)

It's winter in Chicago
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Chicago
When the snow's up to your butt;
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Chicago ,
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.