What would MacGuyver do now?

[wendyzski]

rennie_frog's entry today about unclevlad getting stuck in the bathroom reminded me of a similar incident of my own...



1990-ish, I think. My first solo apartment, After the disaster that was the "Chicago Fandom Boarding House I was SOOOO ready for a place of my own, no matter how dinky. If there were dishes in the sink, dagnabit, they were MY dishes and I could leave them there if I wanted to!

It was in an old building at the corner of Morse and Wayne, and the fact that it had "Wayne Manor" etched in the concrete above the door only made it cooler! (I did manipulate the directory a bit when it was left open one day, and listed B Wayne and D Greyson in "Bsmnt"). But it was affordable, included utilities, and was less than a block from the 'El. The "Kitchenette" was pretty laughable, but it did have a huge dressing room/closet, which led into the bathroom.

Now, when you move into a new apartment, there are always little things that need attention from management - loose drawer handles, light bulbs, etc. You make a list and give them to the Super, and they usually get done. Well, one of the things I noticed was that there was no knob on the bathroom door. I duly notified the Super and then didn't worry about it much. I lived by myself so I didn't need to close the door, and when my out-of-town bf was in town we'd just shut the dressing room door instead if privacy was needed. Truth be told, I probably forgot all about it.

(You can see where this is heading, can't you?)

Well, one morning I was getting ready to go to work. I got out of the shower and was toweling off, when I lost my balance. I reached out to catch myself against the nearest vertical surface. Which of course happened to be the bathroom door. Which opened IN.

"CLICK"

"Oh shit!"

Here I am standing naked and drippy in my tiny bathroom, and I'm locked in. The door has latched and there is no doorknob. And I haven't even had coffee yet...

My first thought was to open the tiny window and start yelling. I even went so far as to lever it open it's entire 6" to see that there was no one in the parking lot. But I came to the sudden realization - I had deadbolted the front door from the inside! There was no way for the super to come to my rescue that didn't involve causing permanent and probably expensive damage to the door or the wall. Plus the whole "naked" thing. I decide that the "yelling for help" option would be tabled until I had run out of other options.

Naturally enough, my thought at this point was "What would MacGuyver do now?"

Taking stock of my tools - the usual collection of bathroom impedimentia, my eyes light on a spoon (left there from taking cough syrup). I realize that the handle or the bowl might do as a makeshift screwdriver to remove the hinges and hardware. So, I got to (un)screwing... Did pretty well too - got 3 screws out before I learned that one of the "screws" had at some time in the distant past been replaced with a nail. How inconsiderate of them! So I was back to square one, but now with a bent spoon and a sore wrist.

Cozily wrapped in my damp towel, I sat down to examine the workings of the latch itself. It was one of those old 20s things that usually has the big glass doorknob. Peering into the hole I could see a diamond-shaped opening through which daylight was visible. Clearly this was the thingie which "turned" to open the door when there was a doorknob-assembly stuck through it. I then hit upon the idea of jamming various objects into the hole to see if I could turn the mechanism.

Item 1 - Wooden Clothespin. Not quite wide enough, and I only had one so using multiples was not an option. Plus it was really hard to turn with enough force to do any good.

Item 2 - Reach Toothbrush with square-ish handle - it did fit but so far down the shaft that I couldn't get any leverage to turn it, and when I tried it the other way I broke it.

Item 3 - folding wire-frame sweater-dryer. Hmm - the ends of the wires are bent at an angle, so if I fold it so that TWO of them are in the hole, and then use the leverage......

SUCCESS!!!

I had managed to escape from my bathroom using only my wits and common household items!
It took about 90 minutes all told, and made for a rather interesting phone call when I had to call my job to explain why I was going to be late, but I did it!

So yeah, unclevlad - at least you had someone on the other side of the door with tools...