Actually, I think I'm more at Depression by now with occasional flashbacks.
I think Anger was more when I had no one to talk to (If she somehow recovers from this I just may strangle her myself for putting me though this!) , and bargaining was when I decided to notify people ("she can come back to haunt me if she likes"). I did a fair amount of pillow-screaming the day she died. Now I'm having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, and I'm a space cadet at work. I've asked people to double check my work because I'm not exactly at my best. I've stopped sniffling at random intervals though, so I figure it's progress of a sort.
I've known this was coming longer than a lot of people - I knew it was metastatic 5 months ago, and about the brain lesions last month. 2 weeks ago I really thought we were gong to lose her any day, then it looked better, and then suddenly worse. So I've gotten "previews" of all of these along the way. I did a grief counseling session with one of the hospice people the day she went in - I'm so grateful that her husband understood that I'd need it and to make it happen.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-07-24 05:22 pm (UTC)I think Anger was more when I had no one to talk to (If she somehow recovers from this I just may strangle her myself for putting me though this!) , and bargaining was when I decided to notify people ("she can come back to haunt me if she likes"). I did a fair amount of pillow-screaming the day she died. Now I'm having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, and I'm a space cadet at work. I've asked people to double check my work because I'm not exactly at my best. I've stopped sniffling at random intervals though, so I figure it's progress of a sort.
I've known this was coming longer than a lot of people - I knew it was metastatic 5 months ago, and about the brain lesions last month. 2 weeks ago I really thought we were gong to lose her any day, then it looked better, and then suddenly worse. So I've gotten "previews" of all of these along the way. I did a grief counseling session with one of the hospice people the day she went in - I'm so grateful that her husband understood that I'd need it and to make it happen.
Just keep swimming....