I don't remember if I posted how I deal with death. But 2010 was a big year for dealing with it - on top of dealing with other major life changes.
Years ago I didn't have the capacity to understand how to deal with the loss of my grandfathers. But then between November 2009 and July 2010, I lost 3 of my grandmothers. (I have 4).
One grandmother insisted that she didn't want a funeral, so there wasn't one. At some point there will be a memorial service, but thusfar, it still hasn't been planned (she died the day after Thanksgiving, 2009). One grandmother died in Januaryish 2010...I wasn't notified until July 2010. No one bothered to tell my side of the family. Going to her funeral wasn't an option. I actually have questions of my aunt, she's left no forwarding address. One grandmother died in April 2010. I went to that funeral. There was not a single thing in this world that was going to keep me from that funeral).
That being said, I need to *do* something with my grief. I can't let it sit and fester. These are people that I love, and not doing anything with these emotions ends up crippling me. So I sit and reflect on them, and their lives, and my interactions with them. How were they important in my life - and I look to see if there is something of their life that I can add to mine that brings value. That way a piece of them lives on.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2011-01-26 07:00 pm (UTC)I don't remember if I posted how I deal with death. But 2010 was a big year for dealing with it - on top of dealing with other major life changes.
Years ago I didn't have the capacity to understand how to deal with the loss of my grandfathers. But then between November 2009 and July 2010, I lost 3 of my grandmothers. (I have 4).
One grandmother insisted that she didn't want a funeral, so there wasn't one. At some point there will be a memorial service, but thusfar, it still hasn't been planned (she died the day after Thanksgiving, 2009). One grandmother died in Januaryish 2010...I wasn't notified until July 2010. No one bothered to tell my side of the family. Going to her funeral wasn't an option. I actually have questions of my aunt, she's left no forwarding address. One grandmother died in April 2010. I went to that funeral. There was not a single thing in this world that was going to keep me from that funeral).
That being said, I need to *do* something with my grief. I can't let it sit and fester. These are people that I love, and not doing anything with these emotions ends up crippling me. So I sit and reflect on them, and their lives, and my interactions with them. How were they important in my life - and I look to see if there is something of their life that I can add to mine that brings value. That way a piece of them lives on.