Weird - I replied to this on my iToy last night but it doesn't seem to have gone through...
I think it's so hard with animals because you can't explain things to them. Why it hurts, or what's going to happen, or why they have a new person now. That can rip your heard out., because they just look at you and you want to make everything all better.
I understand the guilt thing all right - my grandmother spent 10 years dying of Alzheimers and my brother never knew her except as that lady who was tied into the chairs at holidays, didn't know who anyone was, and who smelled like Jean Nate' and pee. When she finally died, it was a relief - because as far as I'd been concerned she'd been dear for years but hadn't known it. And the family blew up when my grandfather started dating less than 6 months later. Personally I applauded him - he kept my grandmother home as long as humanly possible and did his best for her, but now she was gone now and he deserved to have a life of his own again.
Would cleaning up his stuff and toys and donating them to a shelter or rescue group help at all? Knowing that even if he isn't around to play with them any more, that another dog who hasn't got any can use them? A friend of mine lost her rabbit to illness when I was unemployed, and she sent me all his rabbit stuff. I kept what I could use (Pepper pretty much ignores all toys), and then donated the rest to the shelter that Pepper came from.
Or writing a letter to the vets and vet techs, thanking them for what they did? It'll hurt, but I bet those people are sad too.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 07:31 pm (UTC)I think it's so hard with animals because you can't explain things to them. Why it hurts, or what's going to happen, or why they have a new person now. That can rip your heard out., because they just look at you and you want to make everything all better.
I understand the guilt thing all right - my grandmother spent 10 years dying of Alzheimers and my brother never knew her except as that lady who was tied into the chairs at holidays, didn't know who anyone was, and who smelled like Jean Nate' and pee. When she finally died, it was a relief - because as far as I'd been concerned she'd been dear for years but hadn't known it. And the family blew up when my grandfather started dating less than 6 months later. Personally I applauded him - he kept my grandmother home as long as humanly possible and did his best for her, but now she was gone now and he deserved to have a life of his own again.
Would cleaning up his stuff and toys and donating them to a shelter or rescue group help at all? Knowing that even if he isn't around to play with them any more, that another dog who hasn't got any can use them? A friend of mine lost her rabbit to illness when I was unemployed, and she sent me all his rabbit stuff. I kept what I could use (Pepper pretty much ignores all toys), and then donated the rest to the shelter that Pepper came from.
Or writing a letter to the vets and vet techs, thanking them for what they did? It'll hurt, but I bet those people are sad too.