I remember Derek from APA69 and some long serious talks about AIDS back in the day.
re janet - I loved her memorial service, and that we all took home stuffed animals, and that it was a costume event and I created a 'CLex' costume in her honor. I'm also glad that I knew ahead of time.
I remember spending much time with Mike (my first boyfriend) as he was dying and at one point asking Pooch if he was okay with me spending every evening driving an hour to sit by Mike's side and stoke his hair so he woudl fall asleep - and Pooch saying that I wouldn't be the person he loved if I didn't.
RE Family of choice access - I have specifically listed Pooch and Holly to have visitiation rights in my medical power of attorney since it is likely my Dad would fight it.
re folks getting pissed - My aunt had a fit when my mom died that there was not a 'family car' to pick her up and drive her to the service, I explained that I was paying for the service out of my own pocket and I could see if someone in her neighborhood could give her a ride if she wasn't comfortable driving. She has not talked to me since then (over 15 years ago)
Re ORDER people told in - I didn't know my mom had died for 3 days - until I was trying to get ahold of her and the line was busy for days and I called my step brother and he was shocked I didn't know - seems my "step dad" "forgot" to tell the police my mom had a daughter to inform.
also remember to tell folks you care when they are here, that they are meaning ful in your life - maybe that should be a meme - what woudl you say at my memorial?
I have very detailed explination on quality of life in my documents since I know my father is 'keep someone on life support forever' type of person and I am not - thus Pooch then his Mom are my power of attorney for health care.
I grew up with a pretty healthy view of death with mom being an ER nurse, and holding a friend as he bled out when I was about 15, and then mom doing hospice and almost weekly helping someone die at home.
re going to funerals or not - I have opted out a few times because I know that my being there would be hurtful to others in their live and I was able to morn in my own ways, so it was out of being considerate. Or there are times that I've already said my goodbuys and I find that I would rather give in their name or such then goto the public event.
Also I have to give Kudos to my pseudo-daughter who realized her friend was dying and decided she would rather book the flight and spend a week with her on her death bed, yes it meant no trip over from england for a funerla but I think she make the right choice.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 07:18 pm (UTC)I remember Derek from APA69 and some long serious talks about AIDS back in the day.
re janet - I loved her memorial service, and that we all took home stuffed animals, and that it was a costume event and I created a 'CLex' costume in her honor. I'm also glad that I knew ahead of time.
I remember spending much time with Mike (my first boyfriend) as he was dying and at one point asking Pooch if he was okay with me spending every evening driving an hour to sit by Mike's side and stoke his hair so he woudl fall asleep - and Pooch saying that I wouldn't be the person he loved if I didn't.
RE Family of choice access - I have specifically listed Pooch and Holly to have visitiation rights in my medical power of attorney since it is likely my Dad would fight it.
re folks getting pissed - My aunt had a fit when my mom died that there was not a 'family car' to pick her up and drive her to the service, I explained that I was paying for the service out of my own pocket and I could see if someone in her neighborhood could give her a ride if she wasn't comfortable driving. She has not talked to me since then (over 15 years ago)
Re ORDER people told in - I didn't know my mom had died for 3 days - until I was trying to get ahold of her and the line was busy for days and I called my step brother and he was shocked I didn't know - seems my "step dad" "forgot" to tell the police my mom had a daughter to inform.
also remember to tell folks you care when they are here, that they are meaning ful in your life - maybe that should be a meme - what woudl you say at my memorial?
I have very detailed explination on quality of life in my documents since I know my father is 'keep someone on life support forever' type of person and I am not - thus Pooch then his Mom are my power of attorney for health care.
I grew up with a pretty healthy view of death with mom being an ER nurse, and holding a friend as he bled out when I was about 15, and then mom doing hospice and almost weekly helping someone die at home.
re going to funerals or not - I have opted out a few times because I know that my being there would be hurtful to others in their live and I was able to morn in my own ways, so it was out of being considerate. Or there are times that I've already said my goodbuys and I find that I would rather give in their name or such then goto the public event.
Also I have to give Kudos to my pseudo-daughter who realized her friend was dying and decided she would rather book the flight and spend a week with her on her death bed, yes it meant no trip over from england for a funerla but I think she make the right choice.