the short version

Any morning that starts with pouring hot coffee down your pants leg can only go up from there.

Castleton boogers are light brown.

My feet hurt, and I sunburned my cleavage.

More details later - stay tuned for a full report on our first performances at the Oklahoma Renaissance Faire......

Friday

Hauled my big-ass suitcase to work, and left immediately after work for Midway. Takes about 40 minutes, and I see Josie with the even-bigger-ass flight case for the dulcimer. Line was not too long, but then I headed over to baggage screening…

Now, I have gotten used to having my bags gone through. However, I usually stand there and watch the process because a) there are important musical instruments in there and b) I know that no man is ever going to be able to get everything back in there without my assistance. The poor old guy I had was trying, but couldn’t seem to understand that you can’t layer petticoat, skirt AND bodhran and still expect to get the damned thing closed. He was just not getting my instructions. A young woman came over, and between the two of us, we were able to get through to him what he needed to do to get it closed again. However, one young man nearby came over and started making rather snide comments like “you packed too much” and “ you should have brought two suitcases”. I told him that I thought this was inappropriate - that he was there to provide security and not to make personal comments about my packing style. He ignored me, and told me he did not like the tone of voice I was using to the people who were helping me. I asked them if they were offended, and they said no. So once the bag was closed and on its way, I asked this annoying man what his name was. He turned and walked away, and busied himself taking bags off the scanner. Since I already knew my flight was going to be delayed, I was in no hurry, so I stood there and waited. After a few moments he walked back over to my side of the station, and I again said “Excuse me - can I get your name”. Reply “Why do you need my name?”. Me “Well, I fly pretty often, and I have never had anyone feel the need to make personal comments about my luggage, and I want to report it”. He still refused to give me his name, but did point out his manager to me. I told the man about it, and he said “Well, what do you want me to do about it?”. So I wrote up a complaint online this morning. Sigh. Chalk up one for the flying public.

Our flight was delayed over an hour by bad weather and airport closures in Florida. We got in, got the big silver boat (we needed to rent an SUV to fit the dulcimer case) and headed south. There is only so much time you can make up on 2-lane highways in the rain. We arrived at our hotel about 2 AM and promptly fell over.

Coming soon - ‘Good English Weather”…

Saturday at Castleton

Well, It’s a darned good thing that I asked Susi to bring an extra shawl because I needed it. Saturday at Castleton was one of the most generally miserable days I have ever spent at a faire.

Despite weather.com’s predictions of 70 with 70% chance of showers, the temps started in the 60s and fell from there, and it rained all day. We had an awful time trying to keep to our schedules, keep the instruments reasonably dry, and keep them halfway in tune. The Red Ram stage is lovely and shady, with lots of vines and shade. However, no one has trimmed them for a while, so John played the 12:30 show mostly behind a large bush growing out of the stage. We had the 2:00 “All-A-Cappella because we can’t keep anything in tune with anything else” set, and for our 3:30 we had Josie half behind the bar and John on the other side of the path, with me either sitting near the door of the ladies privy or perched on the fence. We made $2 in ‘pity tips”.

The promised “lunch provided” was not ready at the scheduled time, and by the time our schedule allowed us to get back there it was nearly gone. I got the last bowl of soup and it was stone cold. It was also some kind of seafood cream-based soup - NOT good for us vocalists. I was so cold and hungry and wet by that point that I got a big heaping funnel cake and ate it all by myself. After the 2:00 show I needed to get inside and get warmed up for a while or I was NOT going to get through the day, so I went into the Castle to do some patron interaction until I stopped shivering. I sat down with a stick and piece of string with a leaf tied on the end to go ‘fishing’ in the fountain in the center of the courtyard. After a while some kids came by, and told me that if I wanted to actually catch anything, I should try the pond under the stairs. It had goldfish. So I headed over there. I got much instruction in the art of fishing by passing children, who informed me that leaning over the water and calling “here fishie fishie” was probably not going to work. One of them fetched me a piece of popcorn, to use as a better bait. I tied it on to the end of the string, and cast in. As some of the fish began nibbling at it, I had a sudden thought. What if this actually works? How am I going to explain to Jeff that we caught and cooked one of his castle goldfish? Luckily, at that moment, two of the larger fish tore at opposite sides of the kernel and pulled it off my string. (When I mentioned this to Jeff the next day, he said I was more than welcome to move some of the fish to the center fountain. I know what I’M doing for a bit next rain day…)

Even though we were all thoroughly miserable, all the street kids were determined to make the best of a bad situation. I saw a lot of people out in the streets, and the few patrons that showed up and lived to tell the tale seemed to have a good time. We got mentioned on several exit surveys, and when Jeff read out survey results the next morning, he read out that he had gotten comments on “The Madman under the tree”, and looked around puzzled. Apparently, our guitariste John was bored, and his knees hurt, so he settled under a tree and was asking passersby “Is this a tree Im sitting under, or is it an elephant? Because I’d have to be mad to sit under an elephant..” etc. Hee hee - we told them we were also street characters….

I think we could have survived any two of the little sleep, no lunch, and cold wet weather, but the combination just about did us in. Thank the gods that Jeff was willing to let us do our bit for the Masked Ball early on, and then go back to the hotel and fall over. Take-out from Wendy’s and a round of hot showers later, we were all unconscious by about 9:30.

sunday sunday sunday!

Sunday was MUCH better. 60s and sunny, even en route to morning meeting. Thanked Susi profusely for the loan of her shawl - I would never have survived Saturday without it! Thanked Jeff and everyone else for cutting us loose early the night before - we were beat. I didn’t even stay awake for the end of Iron Chef!

In gratitude for this, I resolved to work extra hard today. Did opening gate (whoever schedules people for various areas of the “corral” before the gates - I don’t think they understand that sound carries! Scheduling 2 groups in the same area who are playing in different keys - well, it’s not pretty.). Couldn’t hear a word of the scene. Their street people are really energetic, but need some tips on stuff like throwing focus to a scene, etc. I had my sign that read “Will Sing For Coffee”. It got lots of laughs. Gotta love those passive lazzis! played for a bit in the sun by the chapel - very nice. Visited with Chattia/Kittye and some of her “Ladies of the Salty Kiss”, but didn’t have the short-term memory in place to ask about a better route back to KC. Had just given up on the whole “lunch provided” thing, and had granola bars and cheesy-crackers for lunch. “Will Sing For Coffee” got me 3 cups of coffee, but switching it to “Will Sing for Beer” in the afternoon just got laughs. Oh well. (hee)

The Red Ram is a lovely area, but very hard to program. It is next to a bar, so it’s kind of like a bar, but it’s also a nice shaded area on a boardwalk, so it’s sort of like a street space. Nancy, the dulcimist who shares that space with us, plays down on the deck and not on the stage, as she finds the “distance” effect of the stage too much of a separation from her audience. We tried playing down on the deck, but between the people standing along the boardwalk with drinks in-hand (so I kept having to sing over my left shoulder) and the kids headed for the little fishpond next to us, it didn’t seem much of an improvement. I am thinking that we will do our 12:00 set (which is up against the joust) on the deck, but out 2 and 3:30 sets from the stage. Also, we are programmed in 45-minute sets, and we find that NO ONE stays for a whole set. They sit for about 15 minutes then tip and move on. So it’s kind of hard to program a set list with any kind of “build” to it. I think I’m going to try a more back-and-forth approach, alternating ballads and up-tempos, or vocals and instrumentals, and then a single closing song. Gonna take a stab at that this week and we’ll see what happens.

My feet hurt too much to go back to my sign rounds, so I climbed up to the roof of the Red Ram and began my “fishing for men” bit. (See last year’s Michigan Faire entries for details) Of course, since I found the empty cup on the ground, had the barkeep toss a little cheap beer in there, and then some woman poured half her dark beer in there - she said I “needed more bait”. There are always some smart-asses who try and “sneak up” on me to get the cup. I was half-tempted to let them - anyone drinking that swill would get exactly what they deserved! On my way up, a friend of the owners asked if I had paid my license fee. I told him I was not aware that you needed a man-fishing license, but that I had spoken to the Steward and he was aware of what I was going to do. Just then Jeff (the owner) walked up and said “What did you speak to me about?”. I reiterated that I was about to go fishing, but that this man had asked if I had a permit. We all agreed that though a permit was not needed for such a pastime, that it also could be an excellent source of revenue for the Castle were to be imposed!

I have always been told I am much funnier when I have not had enough sleep. I am very intimidated in a ‘traditional’ improve setting, but lack of sleep shuts my editor off, and I come up with stuff that strikes people as very funny. I think my best on Sunday was when I encountered the Royal Bard and his little cart full of instruments. He was showing his lute to someone, and I remarked that it bore a resemblance to a pregnant guitar. She laughed, and he looked puzzled and said he had not known that guitars could get pregnant. I said “Of course - where do you think ukeleles come from?”

Had a lovely moment after the 3:30 show. Through most of the show, a family had been sitting in the back. They had a young girl in a wheelchair with them - a lovely dark-haired girl of maybe 10 or 11, obviously profoundly handicapped and in a support chair. I couldn’t see her very well through those bloody vines (!) but since they stayed the entire time I assumed that she was responding positively in some way to the music. They tipped generously at the end of the set and left. As we were packing up to scurry over to our maypole set, a middle-aged woman came running up and said “Oh good - you’re still here!” She explained that she was the child’s mother, and that while we were playing, and in particular when the dulcimer was going - her daughter had lifted her head for the first time all day, and seemed to be paying attention to her surroundings. She was so thrilled, and wanted to get a CD to take home with them. I really love moments like that. We had something similar at a show in IA once. There was an autistic woman and her sister there, and the woman actually stopped rocking in place and smiled during the show. The brain is a funny thing, and music can sometimes touch people who cannot be reached in other ways. It’s moments like that that make days like Saturday fall into a better perspective somehow.

We had to bail right after our Maypole set to be sure to make our plane. Tried a different route coming back - it worked but still not optimal. So all you KC/OK/MO people - which route is better and faster to take from KC to Muskogee?
1) 71and 35 our of KC going south-west. 169 south through Kansas and OK to Tulsa, then the Turnpike to 69. It’s the route that MapQuest suggested, but it’s all 2-lane highways and seems to have speed limits that change at random.
OR
2) 71 to 35 to 69, then 69 all the way. Itty-bitty 2-lane roads going through every small town on the map, but straight south.
OR
3) 71 all the way south through MO, then 44 over to 69 in OK. Maps seems to show it’s at least divided highway all the way, and has Freeway parts. I’m wondering if this is true, and so if we could do our usual 8mph over the speed limit and make up some time.

Meh - I’m TIRED!

WZ