How am I doing?

[wendyzski]

A little leaky around the eyes, and groggy from lack of sleep. It's also "that time of the month", so I'm more emotionally volatile anyway.

Alternating between guilt at finally deciding to break Janet's confidence and relief that it's all open and that people who love her have a chance to prepare for the inevitable.

I am remembering to eat, though I don't want to. Stress kills my appetite, but keeling over won't help anyone. SlimFast is my friend.

Everyone in my office is being quietly supportive - mostly leaving me to myself and giving me simple stuff to do, and also not minding that I'm on LJ and e-mail half of the time.

Mostly just making time.

Comments

[that-david.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Here for you if you need it.

*more hugs*

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it. Knowing that people are out there and I could call them, even if I don't, is the only thing making this bearable right now.

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

I feel really heartbroken about all of this. I know that Janet had felt alone and abandoned in a lot of ways over the last few years, especially with regards to her lifeline of fandom, and I just really hope all of that is healed and that she moves on peacefully without a worry about any of that stuff.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

That was part of why I argued with her about letting people know. She was afraid that she'd have to answer endless "how are you" posts, but I thought that if people knew there was a finite time to enjoy having her around, they'd take advantage of it, and make sure that she knew how much they valued her.

Even as late as last week she mentioned that she had gotten a plant from the people in her office. I told her that she'd have a LOT more than one plant there if she'd let me tell people she was ill. But now she can't see that far without her glasses, and it'd be one more thing for Jake to worry about bringing home.

The best we can do is let her know she is loved and not alone, and hope it is quick and painless.

Love from Winnipeg

[meadbahai.livejournal.com]

Hi Wendy,

Please give my love to Janet when you see her. I was thinking about her a lot in recent months, and was very saddened to receive this news.

Tomorrow evening, a group of Buddhist monks who live across the street from me are coming over to learn about the Baha'i teachings. I will ask them to say prayers for Janet and her family. They appreciate being able to help people in this way.

My love to all down there, and lots of hugs.


Mead

Re: Love from Winnipeg

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Janet always felt odd about having people pray for her. I talked about it with Jake last night, and we are both of the "hey - anything helps" school of thought, so prayers for her friends and family to have the strength to get through this difficult time would be appreciated.

Re: Love from Winnipeg

[meadbahai.livejournal.com]

I understand her feelings. Hey, at hte very least, I'm thinking about her, and all the other friends from NWU and GR. I miss you all very much and hope to hear from you.

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[capi.livejournal.com]

*loving you softly*

[herohunter.livejournal.com]

I've always sent her good vibes, cause I knew she doesn't like prayers, but I'll pray for all you guys, k?

Re: What to say?

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's a relief to have it finally out in the open, and it is good to know that so many people care.