Sad thoughts
Jul. 24th, 2007 09:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It kind of sucks that I could get bereavement leave for my sister-in-law whom I've met twice, the second time at the wedding, or for my father with whom I've not spoken in 15 years or so, but not for my best friend.
The Newberry Library Book Fair is this weekend. Hey, I should call Janet and.....oops. Never mind.
Drew Carey has been signed to do The Price is Right. I wonder what J....ah. Right. I forgot again.
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Date: 2007-07-24 02:43 pm (UTC)Love you, Wendy-Lady. Soggy or dry.... Love you.
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Date: 2007-07-24 02:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-24 03:02 pm (UTC)I'm so sorry sweetie...
You know where I am if you want to talk...
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Date: 2007-07-24 03:21 pm (UTC)Call if you want to talk. I'm here.
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Date: 2007-07-24 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-24 05:01 pm (UTC)Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.
Today you are at Anger.
Don't try to tell yourself not to be angry. Don't blame yourself for your anger. You have just expereinced a great loss and that will make you ANGRY. Give yourself permission to be angry. Don't take it out on the people around you, but don't ignore it either. This is the perfect excuse to work it out physically- take a big stick and whack the hell out of a pillow. Go out to the lake and scream at the waves. Take a long vigorous walk if your lungs are up to it- get hot and sweaty and ANGRY.
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Date: 2007-07-24 05:22 pm (UTC)I think Anger was more when I had no one to talk to (If she somehow recovers from this I just may strangle her myself for putting me though this!) , and bargaining was when I decided to notify people ("she can come back to haunt me if she likes"). I did a fair amount of pillow-screaming the day she died. Now I'm having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, and I'm a space cadet at work. I've asked people to double check my work because I'm not exactly at my best. I've stopped sniffling at random intervals though, so I figure it's progress of a sort.
I've known this was coming longer than a lot of people - I knew it was metastatic 5 months ago, and about the brain lesions last month. 2 weeks ago I really thought we were gong to lose her any day, then it looked better, and then suddenly worse. So I've gotten "previews" of all of these along the way. I did a grief counseling session with one of the hospice people the day she went in - I'm so grateful that her husband understood that I'd need it and to make it happen.
Just keep swimming....
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Date: 2007-07-25 05:00 am (UTC)It is said that the world at large has such a limited definition of family. My *family* is mostly not related to me by blood.
*Hugs*
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Date: 2007-07-25 06:07 pm (UTC)*looks at calendar* Sigh. That's a lotta months.
I joked last night that the only "Bargaining" that got done was who had to notify whom when the end came. "OK - I'll call the ex-bf if you handle that really annoying guy from game night..."
(and to be fair, he's not all THAT annoying, but when I have one nerve left he always manages to get on it.)