One year ago today

[wendyzski]

I had resolved not to write about today being the anniversary of Janet's death, because I didn't want to bring anyone down.
I did most of my crying last night, because it was the anniversary of the last time I spoke with her. I spent the evening in hospice with her, her family and Jacob, and before I left I kissed her on the forehead, and I told her that I loved her and that I always would.

In the morning, she was gone.

I have mostly stopped the "OMG I should tell Janet about this....oh" thing I had going for a while. Now it's mostly wistfulness, thinking of things that she never had a chance to see. She'd have been all over "Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog", and we both would have memorized all the words, and sung them at every opportunity. She'd have badgered me into going to at least 3 little craft fairs by this point of the summer, and there would have been a lot more organized movie-going by now.

I still have that fuzzy orange furry critter, and it's one of the last things I plan to pack and the first thing to go to the new place. I still think of her nearly every day. I've not brought myself to read her stories yet, and I'm not sure when that will happen.

This weekend was her in-urn-ment (she donated her body to science and it's done with it now). She always said "You do whatever you want, *I* won't be there!". But still....a PINK urn? I have this deep-seated desire to sneak down there, dig it up and paint it sparkly purple.

I'm going to go sniffle all over my bunny now.

Comments

[ashtalet.livejournal.com]

I have this deep-seated desire to sneak down there, dig it up and paint it sparkly purple.

Let me know if you need directions.

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

I could stop by and leave clark and lex photos at the gravesite on my next drive up to Chicago.

[mustang-bex1126.livejournal.com]

I feel like you should include some variety of neon puffy paint as well- I wasn't fortunate enough to know her in life, but through you and your friends recollections, she certainly seemed larger than life. Very sorry for the loss that her friends and family have felt, and for the loss of her spirit in the world.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

hrm - maybe rhinestones....

[mustang-bex1126.livejournal.com]

Rhinestones are win ;-)

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

Wow, I think I knew on a unconscious basis, because I was going to post yesterday about how I was thinking of Janet and missing her, but then I didn't have time due to my house guests, but I did not know on a conscious basis that it was the anniversary of her death.

I miss her a lot.