Just practicing...

[wendyzski]

• "No, I'm not married."


• "No, I have no immediate plans to get married".


• (Or alternatively "Why, are you proposing?")


• "No, I do not plan to have children".


• "I'm a musician."


• "No really, I am."


• "I am looking for another 'day job' but also playing gigs - in fact, I have one the weekend after I get back"

My brother is getting married this coming weekend, and I just dread the stupid and intrusive questions. As the only remaining unmarried of my generation, I just KNOW I'm in for it. Probably just as well Rob wasn't able to go with me.

And my mother is again going to tell me I'm fat and ask why I don't want to have kids - the fact that we've had this discussion several times notwithstanding. However, I can probably bargain with her by saying "You don't bug me about the kid thing and I won't harass you about the fact that you're moving to hurricane-ville next month"

Bleh - My life, My business! My dreams of the past few weeks have all involved my having to explain something to someone who just doesn't get it. Gee - I wonder why?

Now, I love my mom, but we have often agreed that we get on much better since I left home. I usually time visits for 3 days, which is about long enough to re-connect a bit without forcibly reminding you of why you moved in the first place. And I have never even met my brother's bride, never mind the pack of relatives I'm about to acquire. I'm going to have enough trouble trying to be pleasant during the "meet everyone" reception, which is in a house full of creatures I am severely allergic to.

I have visions of spending the entire evening out by the pool, with the neighbor's bichon (which is a non allergenic kind of dog). With my luck, it will rain.

I will not snicker at Debbie's dress I will not slip and refer to her as "the Matron of Horror" in front of my new in-laws I will not snicker at Debbie's dress I will not slip and refer to her as "the Matron of Horror" in front of my new in-laws I will not snicker at Debbie's dress I will not slip and refer to her as "the Matron of Horror" in front of my new in-laws I will not snicker at Debbie's dress I will not slip and refer to her as "the Matron of Horror" in front of my new in-laws I will not snicker at Debbie's dress ...

One small saving grace in all this is that John did not cave and invite our dad. You know, the guy that neither one of us has not seen in 12 years and even the holiday cards stopped a while ago? (I know I didn't give him my new address when I moved). We have each made the choice not to make him part of our lives. The divorce from my mom was long, drawn-out, and messy (5 years worth), with lots of legal maneuvering and emotional blackmail. Through this we learned that the man he had become was simply not a very nice person, and that neither of us wanted much to do with him. It has nothing to do with "forgiveness" or anything like that - just that he wants the "idea' of one big happy family more than he wants to get to know the actual flesh-and-blood people we have become. Once when I expressed discomfort at the idea of visiting him and his girlfried, his reply was "Oh - it's okay - we're married now." Yeah, that makes it ALL better...

We have each come under flack from many people over the years over this issue, which bugs me. Who are you to pass judgement on my decisions? And I know he was under a lot of pressure to invite him. I told him that it was his decision, that I would support whatever chioce he made. The only thing I asked was a warning, so that we didnt get a surprise when we walked in. I am very relieved that I don't have to deal with THAT.

See why I planned this trip so the wedding-stuff was out of the way FIRST?

Comments

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

1. You are not fat; in fact you're damn cute.

2. Marriage is overrated.

3. Musicians are people too.

4. Break a leg. Preferably someone else's.