I'm not dead yet

[wendyzski]

Had my annual physical today. Not the most fun way to spend a Saturday morning, but needed. So I got prodded in sensitive places and deprived of some blood, and then had a chance to go over my list with my doctor.

(Nowadays Docs are so rushed that even people with fewer medical issues than me tend to forget things. So I always bring a list for the doc - it reminds me of what I need to ask/update and also has my meds and dosages written at the top so she can just take it over to the prescription pad and copy everything down)

I've been meaning to talk to her for some time about my antidepressaant dosage - the anxiety symptoms are still pretty much under control but the actual depressive side of things have been creeping up of late. Not just situational stuff (like the death of a friend of the stress of homebuying) but I've also been withdrawing a LOT socially, and having more trouble juet plain getting up in the morning. But fiddling with any kind of neurochemicals is a scary thing so I've been just putting up with things as best I can.

But lately cleolinda has been writing very candidly about her meds and the changes thereof, and reading her posts made me realize that while it is kind of scary to risk getting worse, it's worth the risk to try and feel better.

So we'll be tapering off my current med (been on it for 8 years or so) over the next 7-10 days and then starting up a new one. We're also going to get me off hormonal birth control sometime this fall - i've been using a phased one because having a predictable cycle meant it was easier to monitor my symptoms, but at my age it's a good idea to re-examine this.

I mention this stuff here because while I am generally pretty good about monitoring myself and my symptoms, it's also possible that there are things i might not notice. So if over the next few months you notice me doing something weird(er than usual) or acting noticably out of character, please bring it to my attention. I might be a little leaky in the brainpan.

(And no jokes about "you're already weird" please. This is actually a very scary thing and it's hard to do and hard for me to talk about.)

Comments

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

i don't get that (I've been on them for so many years). I'm more likely to get asked "did you remember to eat?" because at faire that's a possibility.

But I'm changing meds for the first time in about a decade, and I know that weird things are a possibility. And I've resolved to be open and matter-of-fact about this in hopes that it can help someone who might be embarrassed about their condition. This is kind of the same as "Hrm - I've never had that kind of food before - if I turn purple and fall over, someone remember to tell that to the paramedics".