It's over

[wendyzski]

Renfield is dead.

I gave him water and more pain meds when I got home, and he seemed to revive a little. But he couldn't move either of his back legs, and he was trying to crawl across the cage dragging them and whimpering in pain.

I thought long and hard today about what I would do, and I finally decided that if it needed to be done tonight, taking him to an emergency vet to euthanize him would only cause him more stress and pain. So I waited till he was still and seemed to be dozing, and I broke his neck. It was quick and clean, and he didn't even move. I just couldn't let him suffer another minute.

I'm sorry little guy. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't make you better. All I could do was make it stop hurting. I hope you forgive me.

I tucked him into his little house with some fluff and his half-chewed milk-bone, and wrapped him up. I know he won't know that, but it made me feel a little better - like at least it was something I could do for him.

Rest in peace little one.

Comments

[eacole72.livejournal.com]

{{{{{{{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}}

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

*cries on beth*

[eacole72.livejournal.com]

*rubs shoulders*

Let it out. It's okay.

You gave the poor little guy a good life with you. He had probably been at least neglected prior to finding his way to you, and you gave him a safe place to live out his days. Be very proud of the care and love you gave him.

[anjabeth.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, sweetie. It's the hardest thing any pet owner has to do. I've been through it three times with ferrets; you always feel like you've failed somehow, like if only you'd done something differently, they would have lived. It's not the case, you did everything you could, you loved him, cared for him, and made him as comfortable as you could, and at the end, you ended his pain and suffering. None of us could really ask for more than that, and most of us will never receive it. *hugs* the pain does go away, in time.
Requiescat in Pace, Renfield.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

It's so hard with animals because they don't understand, and you can't explain it to them. They look at you so trustingly and you know that they count on you to make everything all better.

[capi.livejournal.com]

*bursting into tears with Wendy*

That was VERY brave, lady. I'm sorry you had to, but you were right. You *had* to! ((((( weepy hugs )))))

G'bye, Renfield! We loved you!

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna have to put the cage in the closet or something. I cry every time I see it.

[capi.livejournal.com]

*quietly moves the cage into the closet under a blanket*

*sniffle*

Love you, Wendy lady......

[pensnuggles.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

(((((((hugs))))))

[alliesutherland.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, honey. I'm so sorry that you had to make a decision like that. That is so hard.

(((big big hugs)))

Love you.

[justphoenix.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

Oh honey! *HUGS*

Saying when it's time to end it is always the toughest decision to make... And it took extra courage to do it yourself. I don't know if I could have done it.

At least he is no longer in pain... And you took the steps that only someone who truly loved him could have done.

You set him free.

*cries*

*HUGS*

[kyleigh812.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, Wendy. *hugs* You did what was best for him.

[lisagems.livejournal.com]

The hardest kindness of all is mercy. Hugs.

[terkey.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, you have my sympathy and support.

[dave (from livejournal.com)]

{{{hugs}}}

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry :( It's good you were with him at the end.

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I hope I would be as brave, cause we both know that it was the best you could have done for him... but it hurts so much to have to do it. be well...

[melissaamy.livejournal.com]

Oh Wendy how brave you are and to be so kind to him int he time he needed it most...you have our sympathies and hugs...

[geekymary.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I'm sure that was so difficult for you to do, but it was good of you to do it to put him out of his pain.

[gretchen2149.livejournal.com]

::heavy sigh:: I'm so sorry. {{{{{Wendy}}}}} I tried to imagine the Rainbow Bridge, when the time had come for my "furbabies".

"We are on loan to each other for such a short time" - from a caregiver's website I used to frequent. I include all cherished life in that statement. ::grouphug::

[jfc013.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight* I'm sorry, sweetie. You don't have to call me tomorrow unless you want to (I think I'm leaving by 11ish).

[wifeofset.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie *big hugs* I just read this and I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. You are an incredibly brave woman to do something like that. It shows to your level of love and care that you gave him that you were willing to move past your own sorrow to ease his pain.

[jamdin.livejournal.com]

Rest in peace, Renfield :(

[salexa.livejournal.com]

*belated hugs*

[seamstrix.livejournal.com]

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

You did the right thing, to allow someone you love to live on in hopeless pain just because it's hard for you to end it is cruel and cowardly. To ease a loved one's passing even tho it hurts you is the truly loving and brave thing to do. I'm sure that Renfield's spirit understands. Death is another step along the Path, you helped Renfield take that step.

But it still hurts.

{{{{{{{More hugs}}}}}}}

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

May you be comforted in your loss, Wendy.

[aedifica]

*hugs* and blessings to you (and blessings to Renfield as well)!

[jcw-da-dmg.livejournal.com]

(kind thoughts)

[ladyariyana.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs from all of us...}}}}}
so sorry sweetie.... at least he isn't hurting anymore though I wish you weren't either... sigh

sorry i was not here earlier....

[ladyniniane.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, Wendy. (((( HUG ))))

Renfield's last day

[suzaw.livejournal.com]

Wendy, you're hurting and I wish I could help you.

Re: Renfield's last day

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your good thoughts. Grieving is a part of living. I'll be okay, but for now I mourn.

[darkwing830.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are a stronger person than I. May your memories be good ones always. (HUGGS)

[cozit.livejournal.com]

Bye-bye, Renfield. :-(

{hugs} Wendy!

[rennie-frog.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* You did the right thing at an awful time.

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

Hugs, you were a wonderful companion for Renfield.

[that-david.livejournal.com]

*lots and lots of hugs*