OK here's the deal....

[wendyzski]

She DOES NOT WANT visitors. When she was still able to talk, she was adamantly clear that she did not want visitors. She doesn't want anyone to see her like this (adf she looks like hell). I only got an exemption today. Until this past weekend, we really thought she'd have a few more months.

She is not in any pain, and is drifting in and out. She was somewhat aware for a while this afternoon, and I went through the list by name of everyone who loves her and wishes her well. Jake is as well as can be expected. Her parents are with her, and Jake's parents are coming up on Friday.

We have no idea how much time she has left - but it is certainly measured in days at the longest.

I have not spoken of this before because she asked me not to. She wanted people to treat her like a person and not a disease. Also, once she got very sick, the times spent with friends were her escape - a time away from the doctors and the fear. She didn't want the two world to collide at all. I did not agree and I told her so, but I honored her wishes. The only reason I'm posting now is quite frankly, I think you all deserve to know and she can't really argue with me now.

While she was able, she made arrangements to have her body donated to medical science. There will be no funeral service, again at her specific request. There will be some kind of memorial service to honor her, probably in mid October, once we all have a little bit of distance, and so that out of town friends can make arrangements to be there.

I will still hold open house for movies/whatever for the next few Fridays so that people have a place to gather, until my band committments take me traveling again. For the GR crew - the last time I saw her in person she asked me to "take care of them", and I will do my best. Jake plans to continue gaming night in some form, obviously not right away.

The last coherent words she spoke to me last week were "You're not done with me yet!"

I know we all wish that she had been right.

Comments

[mlleelizabeth.livejournal.com]

Thank you for letting us know and for letting rhiannonhero post a link. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Please let Janet know how glad I am to have her as a friend and fellow costume lover

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

Costume lover - were you the one she got that dress from?

[mlleelizabeth.livejournal.com]

No, unfortunately Janet and I never got to meet and or show off costumes in person. We just shared our mutual love of them on LJ.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

ah ok - I just knew she'd gotten it from an LJ friend.

[yavannauk.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the additional update and sending good thoughts to all concerned.

[goth-clark.livejournal.com]

Thank you for letting me know. I miss Janet so very much. I adore her. Please if you can let her somehow know that she is love by me.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

Jake read her out all the responses to their last post, so she DID get that message. I will tell her if I can, but she know you care.

[goth-clark.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[compactspleen.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about Janet, please let her know that she is in our thoughts out here in Seattle. It's been years since we've seen Janet, but we remember her well. -Geoff & Michelle Bonser

[mfloyd3.livejournal.com]

Floyd here, from the GR/ISP crowd of far too long ago. If you can, pass my love on to Janet, and tell her I am sorry I have not kept in touch. And tell Jake he is in my thoughts.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I'm SOOO glad we were able to reach you! You were the last of the "Old Guard" that I didn't have contact info. Randy googled you for me.

I hope I can pass on your wishes - I am going over after work, unless I get a call not to bother.

[jcw-da-dmg.livejournal.com]

Thanks for checking in. I just friended you.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I was able to tell Jake that we had reached you, and he was glad to hear it.

[mfloyd3.livejournal.com]

Thank you, for this and all your efforts.

[popebuck1.livejournal.com]

I'm stunned to hear this. Please let her know she's in my thoughts, and how much I cherish the times we had together. Send her my love!

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

Good that you got the word - I'll post info as it comes.

[ericcoleman]

Please give her my love.

Is there somewhere I can get more info, I have no idea what is going on other than your post here and the comment on Geekymary's LJ.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

well, you were able to read that quick summary I put in the other post. That's really all the info we have. Not going into medical details because that's not how she wanted to be remembered. Jake will post the entire story once she is gone, but you got the short version.

[myashke.livejournal.com]

I just found out about Janet and am just in shock. I hadn't heard from her and was worried, so I checked her lj and found Jake's post. Even though I knew she was sick, I had no idea she was so close to the end of her journey. She was always so incredibly positive, even about her illness, it was hard to ever tell how she was *really* doing. I remember her joking about chemo and doctors - she was amazing.

I hope she knew how much she meant to me, and how much I will miss her. I'll never forget her.

Thank you for posting this update and for being such a good friend to her.

xoxo

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I just found out about Janet and am just in shock.

Yeah - there is a lot of that going around :(

But Jake is right - by not knowing you helped her find a place where everything was OK. It let her feel that she had control over something, even when even her body was no longer under her control.

I know that some of her online friends won't be able to make the memorial in October, but there are tentative plans to do a live webcast of it. I have you can make it.

[myashke.livejournal.com]

I knew she was sick, because when I had a cancer scare, she was *such* a rock for me. She let me know then, but I didn't really understand that she didn't have much time left. She always laughed about the absurdity of the meds and needles and doctors, etc. and I guess it just never sunk in how sick she really was.

I just can't believe she's gone. I still expect to see her replying, or popping up on my flist.

xoxo

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

As late as Sunday morning we were thinking that she had a couple of months left and would be coming home soon. But 24 hours later she was MUCH worse, by Wednesday morning she was in hospice, and by Friday she was gone.

The Newberry Library book fair is this weekend, and I caught myself thinking "I wonder if Janet is up to....oh. Never mind".