OK here's the deal....

[wendyzski]

She DOES NOT WANT visitors. When she was still able to talk, she was adamantly clear that she did not want visitors. She doesn't want anyone to see her like this (adf she looks like hell). I only got an exemption today. Until this past weekend, we really thought she'd have a few more months.

She is not in any pain, and is drifting in and out. She was somewhat aware for a while this afternoon, and I went through the list by name of everyone who loves her and wishes her well. Jake is as well as can be expected. Her parents are with her, and Jake's parents are coming up on Friday.

We have no idea how much time she has left - but it is certainly measured in days at the longest.

I have not spoken of this before because she asked me not to. She wanted people to treat her like a person and not a disease. Also, once she got very sick, the times spent with friends were her escape - a time away from the doctors and the fear. She didn't want the two world to collide at all. I did not agree and I told her so, but I honored her wishes. The only reason I'm posting now is quite frankly, I think you all deserve to know and she can't really argue with me now.

While she was able, she made arrangements to have her body donated to medical science. There will be no funeral service, again at her specific request. There will be some kind of memorial service to honor her, probably in mid October, once we all have a little bit of distance, and so that out of town friends can make arrangements to be there.

I will still hold open house for movies/whatever for the next few Fridays so that people have a place to gather, until my band committments take me traveling again. For the GR crew - the last time I saw her in person she asked me to "take care of them", and I will do my best. Jake plans to continue gaming night in some form, obviously not right away.

The last coherent words she spoke to me last week were "You're not done with me yet!"

I know we all wish that she had been right.

Comments

[myashke.livejournal.com]

I just found out about Janet and am just in shock. I hadn't heard from her and was worried, so I checked her lj and found Jake's post. Even though I knew she was sick, I had no idea she was so close to the end of her journey. She was always so incredibly positive, even about her illness, it was hard to ever tell how she was *really* doing. I remember her joking about chemo and doctors - she was amazing.

I hope she knew how much she meant to me, and how much I will miss her. I'll never forget her.

Thank you for posting this update and for being such a good friend to her.

xoxo

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

I just found out about Janet and am just in shock.

Yeah - there is a lot of that going around :(

But Jake is right - by not knowing you helped her find a place where everything was OK. It let her feel that she had control over something, even when even her body was no longer under her control.

I know that some of her online friends won't be able to make the memorial in October, but there are tentative plans to do a live webcast of it. I have you can make it.

[myashke.livejournal.com]

I knew she was sick, because when I had a cancer scare, she was *such* a rock for me. She let me know then, but I didn't really understand that she didn't have much time left. She always laughed about the absurdity of the meds and needles and doctors, etc. and I guess it just never sunk in how sick she really was.

I just can't believe she's gone. I still expect to see her replying, or popping up on my flist.

xoxo

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

As late as Sunday morning we were thinking that she had a couple of months left and would be coming home soon. But 24 hours later she was MUCH worse, by Wednesday morning she was in hospice, and by Friday she was gone.

The Newberry Library book fair is this weekend, and I caught myself thinking "I wonder if Janet is up to....oh. Never mind".